An Ode to KMLA Orchestra

Dear KMLA Orchestra

Hear I came to confess, not to make you happy or disappointed. Here I came to tell you what I had felt. Here I came to spread a memory – the two years I have walked with you. I had always wondered what the verse “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, How I Wonder What You Are” means to my life. It was not a piano – I could reach it within my fingers. It was not KMLA – I am now enjoying my life as KMLA student. It was you. You have been a star beyond my reach, but within my heart, on the night sky. Two years ago, I had a dream. I had a dream that I would become the only pianist to see you clearly shining in the dark creamy sky. Other students also had the same dream: to see you and to reach you. But, you gave a harsh and bitter ray to us. You had believed that there should be only one pianist to observe you. So, you were merciless and cruel to save only one person and to blind the rest. Luckily I was selected as the survived. However, I was hurt, heart-breaking, and disappointed by your cruelty and agonies of the blinded.

Still clutching the disappointment, I went on to observe you. I met the other survivors who had different talents. Most of them played violins or cellos. Some played flute or viola: but, there were no clarinets who survived. Luckily, there were seniors and sophomores who had experienced the shattering rays beforehand. For the first few months, you were brightly shining. The head observer, a 13^th waver, gave us several telescopes different in length and accuracy. Sometimes I observed you dancing the waltz when I saw you from the telescope “Shostakovich Waltz no.2”. I often saw you reading a book silently in a peculiar but magnificent castle whenever I observed you through “Howl’s Moving Castle”. Through the telescope “Requiem”, I observed you grieving, crying on the milky surface of the Milky Way. However, you vanished when I tried to observe you from “Mozart Symphony no.40 1^st movement.” Later it turned out that no observer, even the 13^th waver, knew how to use the telescope. Though I could not reach you, I always remember how you were seen through the lens for the first few months.

2010 Minjok Festival Picture

Oh, KMLA Orhcestra! Please forgive me that I had nearly forgotten you. I cannot deny that I once abandoned the telescopes. As the head observer changed from the 13^th waver to a 14^th waver, we seldom observed you from the telescopes. Only few days before the Minjok festival had we made charts, statistics, and notes on your brightness and your shape. Consequently, our observations exhibited on the Minjok Festival in front of students and teachers showed serious flaws and miscalculations. You were shown as a dim, red star which was fading, fading so drastically second by second. You did not make even a trace of movement. What the audience saw was a sick, pale star glowing dimmer and dimmer until it vanished into the cold night sky. Even right after the Minjok Festival we packed our telescopes into the attic. At first I thought we would observe you again few months after. But sadly, we forgot the telescopes. November passed. December passed. Vacation passed. And new observers from 16^th wavers arrived, expecting to see the “bright star” through the telescopes. I thought at least the head observer will call us to observe you next year. Again, apart from my expectations, February passed. March passed. And April passed away. Without any word, you were forgotten from KMLA.

But, I never forgot to observe you again. I believed that you were still shining bright somewhere else on the night sky. After the haunting mid-term and AP examinations, I called several observers to observe you again. This time I prepared three new telescopes and two old telescopes: “Toy Symphony”, “Libertango”, “Nella Fantasia” were the new ones: “Shostakovich Waltz no.2”, “Howl’s Moving Castle” were the old ones. I was at first scared to observe you for the first time in seven months. I was scared whether you would infuriate upon us, exposing us to the intense ray you throw upon us, and blinding us forever. However, you were benevolent. You slightly showed yourself hidden under the darkness. You did not give us intense ray I received when I observed you for the first time. You gave us warmth and will. You gave us light and life on the dark surface of the earth. You gave us courage and confidence to us as you showed brighter and brighter day after another. As we turned on the telescopes day after day, you slowly rose from the darkness like the sun rising up from the ocean. You changed from a crescent to a semicircle and from a semicircle to a perfect circle. Your light, rather than becoming more intense, became warmer and brighter. You also moved, dancing waltz, shaking a little cute tambourine, or singing a song in the middle of darkness, spreading benevolence to the cold, strict, and merciless world.

2011 KMLA Music Festival

At last, we showed you, a dot of burning gold, in front of the audience – once at the Minjok Festival, and the other at the KMLA Music Festival. Every audience was surprised at your invigorating warmth penetrating into his heart. Yes, you were sometimes faded and distorted because of the intermittently malfunctioning telescopes. However, you were shining brighter than ever. The light you gave us was not a jet of red, a jet of yellow, or jet of blue. It was pure white. Your white light turned the dark silent hall with light and music, invigorating everyone’s heart and sympathy. You were the true gold in front of the audience. Now everyone knows that you are shining brightly on the night sky.

Here, again, I came to confess for the last time. I might have made you happy or disappointed. The thing is, I have bought new telescopes. Maybe these telescopes will not work, but we, as the observers, want to reach you closer and closer. You have captivated my eyes. You have captivated my heart. I and the other observers want to see you dancing and moving again. I want to feel your benevolence and warmth again and again. And I want to give a thread of light to the new observers, who will also be captivated by your benevolence. “Let there be light, and there was light.” You gave me the light, and I remember a thread of harmonizing light.

Your Observer

With Respect, Park Sun Woo